Joshua Tree National Park
Up until about 8 years ago, I had no idea Joshua Tree was a national park. Like most Gen X kids, my introduction to Joshua Tree was the U2 album of the same name (and, honestly, it’s kind of an overrated album. Don’t @ me). Similarly, up until 8 years ago, my idea of Southern California was surfers, traffic, and more surfers. Joshua Tree fits into Southern California because it is, in fact, in the Southern Part Of California but it is probably not “Southern California”. Anyways, enough about directions.
Joshua Tree (the park) and Joshua Tree (the town) are two of my favorite destinations. I’ll write something later about how the town and park feel like spiritual homes to me. It’s wide open, full of weirdos, plenty of hikes and exotic rocks to look at, and has my favorite trailer park of all time.
Out of all the National Parks we’ve been to with our kids, I think Joshua Tree might be my second favorite (after Yellowstone). Mostly because the park is huge and there’s literally a billion things to do, but also b/c you don’t really need an agenda to have fun there with kids. I went in there 2 or 3 times with Lil and Nora with zero idea of what I was going to do. And each time I drove for about 10 minutes until I saw a roadside outcropping of rocks, pulled over, and let the girls climb for an hour. It’s safe (I mean, relatively I guess), fun, and super easy to just pull over. The last time I did this I noticed a car pulled off to the side just ahead of me. Their gas door was open and two young looking women were peering into the gas …hole (what do you call it??) as if they were trying to sort out how gas went into there. Normally I like to help folks with roadside problems, but when you’re towing two kids under 5 who are crabby and hungry, you just wave and keep moving. Anyways, I kept an eye on the two women to make sure all was well. They kept looking at the gas hole, backing up, coming back to it until I finally realized they had propped their phone into the gas area and were using it to take selfies with the same rock area that my kids had just spent an hour crawling all over. Influencers man. Anyways, I digress…
Where to stay
Palm Springs: the easy answer here for us was to just stay in Palm Springs. Located about 45 minutes away almost entirely on CA-62, the drive isn’t nearly as bad as it seems. Between our 2 month long stays, I probably made the drive 10 times. There are dozens of roadside attractions, souvenir shoppes, antique stores, and other random things to catch and entertain the eye on the drive. You also drive by a number of enormous wind turbines on the way that my kids (and I) thoroughly enjoyed. If you’re prone to car sickness, the middle of the drive is windy, steep, and fast. Beware! Also note that JTNP is at least 10-15 degrees cooler than Palm Springs. Bring a sweatshirt!
Hicksville Trailer Palace: I’m going to dedicate an entire blog entry to this gem of a place. Take note: it is an adults only kinda place (it has a BB gun range. enough said). A few times a year they open it to families but the rest of the year they like to keep it weird which means keeping families at bay.
What to do (outside the park)
Some national park towns kinda suck (sorry but I’m looking at you Moab). Some national park towns are overrun with tourist tsotchkes and bad delis (hello West Yellowstone). But then some towns embody a weird collective spirit that is almost as attractive as the park that calls them home. This is true of Joshua Tree. I enjoyed the town almost as much as I enjoyed the park.
Desert Christ Park: You ever go to a church or a cemetery and wonder what happens to the big statue of John the Baptist if the church goes kaput? No? You don’t? WHY NOT? Ok actually I never did either. That is until I went to this bizarre sideshow of a park. It’s a collection of statues of Jesus, his disciples, the Last Supper, etc, etc. Nestled up on a hill overlooking Joshua Tree, the park is relatively small and something you can see in about 30 minutes. Also note that if you make a wisecrack about the park on Instagram, the lovely staff of the Desert Christ Park will politely correct you on whatever facts you may have accidentally misplaced in an attempt at Christian Statue Humor.
Pioneertown: Ok so everyone we talked to about Joshua Tree told us to go here. EVERY. ONE. And we went. And it was fine? Pioneer Town is what you might think it is: a town set in the pioneer days of the late 19th century. They have saloons, horses, gun fights (staged), and a dramatic reenactment of the pioneer days every day around noon. The kids enjoyed this place, the parents not so much b/c it was hot as hell. Apparently they still use this site as a movie set for western themed movies. I have no idea if this is actually true.
Big Josh: Out in front of a converted old gas station stands Big Josh. Its a great “come get some” statue but it also leads you into a gem of a gift shop. Full of oddities, great t-shirts, weird books, and 420 friendly JTNP, Big Josh is definitely a good spot to load up on souvenirs.
The Invisible House: This outing began as many irrational outings begin these days: it started with an Instagram post. A friend sent me a post that said “hey, aren’t you near Joshua Tree? You have to check this place out!”. Within 10 minutes of seeing the post I had the girls loaded in the car and I was headed generally in the direction of JTNP. We were looking for The Invisible House (try explaining that to a 4 year old: “what does invisible mean? you can’t see it? Well how are we gonna find it?!”). We ventured down a long dirt road and came to the desert version of a cul-de-sac. To the left was a house, to the right was another dirt road, and straight ahead was the “invisible house”. You could just make out a corner down below the horizon so I naturally hauled my kids out of the car and started to walk towards the house. More of the house emerged as we got closer but something else emerged: a no trespassing sign. I thought to myself “well, I’m with two young kids, they’re cute. I can play it off”. We got pretty close to the house and I can tell you it is one of the more far out looking structures I’ve ever seen. imagine a gleaming, glass filled skyscraper laying on its side. That was this place. The girls and I stood and admired for a few minutes before we hauled ass out of there. Note: I do not condone trespassing with your kids but if you do it, get in and out quick.
World Famous Crochet Museum: Do not make the mistake I made. This is not a knitting museum. Or a quilting museum. Or a sewing museum. No, this is a crochet museum and it is roughly the size of 3 phone booths stuck in the back corner of an artist market on the edge of Joshua Tree National Park. When you go inside it is full of home made crochet….beanie babies (not actual beanie babies but that’s what they look like). Lily and Nora were mesmerized by the collection and tried repeatedly to take one of the crochet pieces home. Thankfully the artist who runs the museum, Shari Elf, has a market next door where you can buy shirts, pins, and other oddities. We settled for a magnet which satisfied me but not necessarily my children.
Beauty Bubble Salon and Museum: This is a collection of “hair-aphernalia” and is absolutely one of the weirdest museums I have ever been to. The girls asked if they could get their hair cut. Sadly, they do not provide haircuts.
Institute of Mental Physics: Did you know that when you’re driving 60 MPH down a highway, pull off onto a dirt road, and slam on the brakes you don’t exactly stop as much as you skid, coming perilously close to hitting a sign that says “BREATHE (MENTALPHYSICS)”? Well I found that out the hard way. I came within about 5’ of hitting this sign which would have been a deep kind of fucked up irony that I was not prepared to endure. I read about the Institute a few years ago. It was built by Frank Lloyd Wright and his son Lloyd Wright (that sounds like a Newhart joke, doesn’t it? “Hello I’m Lloyd Wright and this is my dad Lloyd Wright”) and contains one of the largest collections of FLW architecture anywhere. However, bad news y’all — the Institute is closed. If you come from the east on HWY62 there are several places to pull off and “accidentally” wander onto the property. There are plenty of midcentury modern buildings scattered throughout the campus. And plenty of signs reminding you to “BREATHE”
What to do (inside the park)
Heart Rock: on our second day in Palm Springs, my wife looked at me and said “do you wanna take the kids on an off trail hike to find something called ‘heart rock’?” and I started to answer with “ummmmm, wellllll” and before I could say it didn’t seem like an awesome idea, she said “yes, we’re doing it”. And we did it. One of Joshua Tree’s more popular hikes is Arch Rock (see below). If you’re headed to Arch Rock and veer off to the left a bit, walk down a ravine, back up the ravine, go between some rocks, and say a little tiny prayer to the Gods of the Desert, you’ll find Heart Rock. I would say if you don’t have kids, it’s totally doable b/c it’s only 3 miles round trip. If you have kids, bring plenty of snacks, a couple of changes of clothes, and wheelbarrow to haul the kids around (ok don’t bring a wheelbarrow but do bring a backpack for the little ones).
Skull Rock: I would venture to say that this is the most popular rock formation in JTNP. It’s also a great spot to take kids (there’s really no hike as the formation is located on top of the road) and to lose a kid. The rock formations rise about 20-30 feet in the air and form these extremely narrow walkways that feel like a maze. When we were there the first time in November 2020, my oldest nephew, Kyle, ambled down one side of the rock while we went down the other. When we got to the bottom, expected to find him waiting for us. Incorrect. We couldn’t find him. Since we were there at dusk (the sunsets there are amazing), it became increasingly difficult to find him. We searched for 20 minutes and still couldn’t find him. He was 17 at the time so we weren’t that worried but since it’s easy to get disoriented in a place like that, we were worried that he might have ventured towards the desert instead of the parking lot. Alas, we found him at the car waiting on us. No children were permanently lost in this venture.
Arch Rock (is everything a fucking “rock” in this place or what?): We’ve now done the Arch Rock trail twice, mostly b/c it’s a super kid friendly hike. About 2 miles roundtrip, the hike is full of small, climbable rocks that little kids love to conquer. You also cross through small ravines, pass by hundreds of actual Joshua Trees, and venture through rock “walkways” that give the feeling of being in a cave. At the very end is a natural arch that is a really popular picture spot. Come prepared to wait (and take pictures of random strangers).
Cap Rock Natural Trail: Cap Rock trail is not really a trail as much as it is a walk around a big ass rock. This isn’t to say you shouldn’t check it out! It’s just….not much of a trail. Named b/c there’s a big rock dangling precariously at the top of another rock formation forming what looks like a cap, this particular landmark is popular among rock climbers and other adventurous sorts. We ate lunch at the base and watched much crazier people than us dangle from the top.
Evening Star Gazing: Joshua Tree is an official member of the “International Dark Skies Association” (a real thing; trust me). Because the park is at nearly a mile above sea level, it’s removed from big city lights, and it’s relative remote location, you get some serious star gazing opportunities. Also, admission is free in the evenings so its a good money saver opportunity too.